Not really GLBT related, but a ';what would you do'; kinda question..need advice (and I like you guys)

Ok, so.. I have a lesbian friend with benefits kinda person, and I was really down on my luck and needed some help. So, she loaned me $75.00 worth of her food stamps so that I could buy groceries to take a lunch to work until I got my first paycheck. Well, a rental assistance place was supposed to help me with my rent as well so that I didn't get evicted, but it never came. So my landlord threatened eviction. So, that's where my paycheck went..to pay part of my rent balance. The next check, the same thing to catch up on rent. So, anyway, this girl calls me at work when I'm extremely busy and starts asking where her money is. I explain the situation with the rent and tell her I don't have it right now, but I will get it to her. She wants $75.00 in CASH so that she can go to gay pride in Austin.


I don't think this is fair, because for one, she gave me food stamps, NOT cash. and 2) the ';money'; I borrowed from her, HAD to be used on food. I dont' think I should give her cashNot really GLBT related, but a ';what would you do'; kinda question..need advice (and I like you guys)
I agree with Death and Goldwing...





I never borrow money, but I have lent people money and never seen it again (it's usually been larger amounts like $300) speaking of...if anyone knows Andre, aka dre' please lt me know LOL..





I see both sides of the situation, she wants back what she loaned, and you had to pay your rent...although she did not loan you cash which is extremely different.





I would do like Death said...Not really GLBT related, but a ';what would you do'; kinda question..need advice (and I like you guys)
Okay, im so sorry that i dont have any good advice about this because im awful at trying to get people to pay me back for loans i give out. I just dont like pressing them for it. But i just had to LMAO@Wickey!!! LOLLLL!!! I'll keep a lookout for Andre!!!
Um, she didn't give you cash, there wouldn't be any cash coming back from me. years ago I used to know of people that sold their food stamps so they could buy things that weren't approved of and the illegal exchange rate was 1 dollar stamp for 50 cents. While I don't approve of it, that would be the most cash I would give up if I had it to spend, otherwise she would get a gift card for the amount of the food stamps(which still isn't equal but most cards can't be spent on alcohol or tobacco).





You are right, keeping a roof over your head is a bit more important than giving up party money. If she can't understand that, I do believe it might be time to cut her loose altogether.





Come on, when things get that bad I know people tend to run out of soap, toothpaste and toilet paper, none of which can be bought with food stamps. If nothing else go buy $75 dollars worth of Groceries and take it to her.
You say you've paid her back with interest before, so how about paying her $80 in cash, and never borrowing again?





You add in all kinds of unnecessary info, like being called at work when 'extremely busy', sounds like she really needs the money.





Cash is a universal currency, so use that. You used the foodstamps for non-food, so it's allowing her to do what she wishes - with her own money, after all. And her kindness saved you from eviction, you don't seem so grateful for something that kept you off of the streets.





Do the decent thing and just payup.





Good luck! Rob
No, you're not being a jerk at all....actually I would have suggested exactly the same thing. Purchase a gift card to her local grocery store.


It's the same form of help that she gave you, she can't complain that you didn't pay her back...unless....she used $75.00 cash of her own money to make up for the food stamps she lent to you.





Granted, I still think the gift card is the best way to go...but I'm not 100% on it.
I don't care what kind of situation you are in, you repay the debt. And never borrow anything from a friend again...that is the quickest way to loose a friend I can think of. I have little pity here, for I have ';loaned'; so much money in my life to those down on their luck...and in each and every case, I have never been repaid...in fact, the persons who borrowed the money just dissappeared...never to be seen again. Now, I choose carefully who I ';loan'; money to...and I now consider it a gift, not a loan. There always seems to be reasons NOT to repay the loan...and you are being petty about this. Food stamps were used by you to buy food. If she had kept them, she may have sold them to raise money...that is NOT your affair or concern. The best I can offer is to buy 75.00 of food stamps from someone and give them to her as repayment...kind in kind.
what she did was wrong she never should have lent u the money worth of food stamps if she wanted cash back and yes u should get her a grocery store giftcard lol or you can pay her back in cash and keep your friendship cool
You never told her when you'd pay her back, so you really have as long as it takes to get the $75 together in my opinion. If she keeps on complaining I'd say do the spiteful thing and put it on a gift card.
I understand your annoyance at her insistance on cash. But really, once you pay her back, does it really matter what she spends it on?





She was good enough to help you out of a hole, and it's likely that you may not even pay her back in time to get to Austin. So really, why make an awkward situation worse, and give her a gift certificate which she doesn't want?





Just give her the cash, when you can. And be grateful she was able and willing to help.
im with john.


she helped you out when you needed. so, pay her back when you can, and just give her the cash cause that seems all she really cares about.


was there any agreement before as to how you would pay her back? im sure your intention was to give her cash since you were waiting for your pay.


she helped you out, so, just give it back and dont act snippy about it and put it on a gift card, next time you need something from her, she wont help, or shell have strings attached.


sometimes we have to do things we dont want to, and, if you want to not totally piss her off in return, you know.


k? play nice.
so lemme get this straight, she fed you when you were hungry and now you won't pay her back. ?? That about covers it??? Geez it must be great to be so sure of yourself that you let down someone who gave you some of their Food money....The lesson here seems to be don't borrow what you can't pay back. too bad she has to go without because of your self righteousness.
75 bucks is 75 bucks, whatever the form it takes... thank her for her help and quit sleeping with her
suck it up and give her the cash. it doesn't affect you and maintains a good frienship.
Ask if you can move in with her so your paycheck can pay her back instead of going to the rent. That should give her a reality check. Don't actually go through with it if you're uncomfortable, though. You should also contact that rent agency.
When you get the money, buy her the grocery store card. If she wants cash, she can try to sell it.


She didn't give you cash, so I don't think you should have to give her cash back.


I totally understand her wanting to go to pride, but she should, as a friend, show a bit more compassion for your crappy situation.
Hi, i would pay her back in cash, she was kind enough to loan it to you, i know it was food stamps but it was a help when you needed it, don't ruin your friendship over $75, its not worth it, explain that at the moment you can not pay her back in one go but pay her back in installments